National Adoption Awareness Week aims to demystify the issues around adoption, raise awareness and acknowledge all parties in adoption. Part of that aim is to dispel the “Myths of Adoption.”
Adoptive parents in Australia identified the top ten myths they have to deal with when talking with family, friends and passers-by in the shopping centre that can’t resist asking “Whose child is that?”
MYTH # 10 – Birth/Natural mothers get on with their lives after giving a child up.
FACTS – The grief of giving up a child never leaves a person.
It is easy to be so focused on the child and the adopting parents that another, critical, party is left unconsidered. In most cases, especially with international adoptions, no information is available on the birth parents. Much is presumed about their attitude and condition that simply isn’t fair and more often than not, is unsubstantiated. Xinran Xue, when visiting Sydney on a book tour a few years back, vividly pointed this out, when she noted, in the audience at one reception, a high number of adoptive parents with Chinese children. Her tearful comment was, “Thank you for loving our daughters”.
To assume that Chinese women, or any others (!) are flippant and uncaring about their decision to relinquish their children evidences an insular, uninformed bias. This bias contributes to the anti-adoption attitude in our government and community today. A bias that National Adoption Awareness Week hopes to, in part, begin to, reverse.
“Wanting a Daughter Needing a Son“, by Kay Ann Johnson provides a good start point, in regard to Chinese Adoption, for those wanting to know more.