Adoption Myth 10 – Birth Mothers Get On With Their Lives After Giving Up a Child

03 Nov

National Adoption Awareness Week aims to demystify the issues around adoption, raise awareness and acknowledge all parties in adoption. Part of that aim is to dispel the “Myths of Adoption.”

Adoptive parents in Australia identified the top ten myths they have to deal with when talking with family, friends and passers-by in the shopping centre that can’t resist asking “whose child is that?”.

MYTH # 10 – Birth/Natural mothers get on with their lives after giving a child up.
FACTS -The grief of giving up a child never leaves a person.

It is easy to be so focused on the child and the adopting parents that another, critical, party is left unconsidered. In the majority cases, especially with international adoptions, no information is available on the birth parents. Much is presumed about their attitude and condition that simply isn’t fair and more often than not is  unsubstantiated.  Xinran Xue, when visiting Sydney on a book tour a few years back, vividly pointed this out, when she noted in the audience at one reception a high number of adoptive parents and Chinese children. Her, tearful, comment: “Thank you for loving our daughters“.

To assume that Chinese women, or any others (!) are flippant and uncaring about their decision to relinquish their children evidences an insular uninformed bias. It is this bias that contributes to the anti-adoption attitude in our government and community today. A bias that National Adoption Awareness Week hopes to, in part, begin to, reverse.

Wanting a Daughter Needing a Son“, by Kay Ann Johnson provides a good start point, in regard to Chinese Adoption, for those wanting to know more.


Posted by on 03/11/2008 in Family, General, Info on Adoption


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3 responses to “Adoption Myth 10 – Birth Mothers Get On With Their Lives After Giving Up a Child

  1. Stella

    04/11/2008 at 1:41 am

    So little scope is allowed, even in this day and age, for clear talk about the sadness of all birth mothers.

    But I hope readers of this site will have a look at the attached link, which points up a recommendation to read up about all those invloved in the adoption process >

  2. Brooke Bida

    12/11/2008 at 3:48 am

    Yep, it ain’t no piece of cake! It’s missing your heart and soul everyday, that makes it hard out get out of bed. But it’s the only “good” suffering I’ve ever known. And now I understand what God meant by that. It’ been a blessing. I’m reminded everyday how lucky I am to even have a beautiful healthy daughter who is loved by so many.


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