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Tag Archives: Adoption Myths

Adoption – China Doll Compliments

An adoptive mum discusses some of the sensitive issues encountered with strangers and friends when they “compliment” her Chinese daughter – via Adoption – Adoptive Families

 
 

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Lets Talk About Adoption

Advert featured on Foxtel and free-to-air throughout November to support National Adoption Awareness Week. This one just happens to feature our princess!

 

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Every Family is Different

… and every child deserves a family!

A National Adoption Awareness Week initiative.

 

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NAAW Adoption Myths – Summary

National Adoption Awareness Week Adoption Myths – Summary

1 – Adopted Children are Lucky
2 – Adoptive Parents are Saints
3 – Adoption is a Second Best Option
4 – They’re Aussies Now!
5 – Adoption is Buying a Baby
6 – Celebrities Can Fast Track the Process of Adoption
7 – Adoption is About Providing Rich Infertile Couples with Children
8 – You Have to be Rich to Adopt
9 – Love is Enough in Parenting an Adopted Child
10 – Birth Mothers Get On With Their Lives after Giving a Child Up

 
 

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Adoption Myth 10 – Birth Mothers Get On With Their Lives After Giving Up a Child

National Adoption Awareness Week aims to demystify the issues around adoption, raise awareness and acknowledge all parties in adoption. Part of that aim is to dispel the “Myths of Adoption.”

Adoptive parents in Australia identified the top ten myths they have to deal with when talking with family, friends and passers-by in the shopping centre that can’t resist asking “whose child is that?”.

MYTH # 10 – Birth/Natural mothers get on with their lives after giving a child up.
FACTS -The grief of giving up a child never leaves a person.

It is easy to be so focused on the child and the adopting parents that another, critical, party is left unconsidered. In the majority cases, especially with international adoptions, no information is available on the birth parents. Much is presumed about their attitude and condition that simply isn’t fair and more often than not is  unsubstantiated.  Xinran Xue, when visiting Sydney on a book tour a few years back, vividly pointed this out, when she noted in the audience at one reception a high number of adoptive parents and Chinese children. Her, tearful, comment: “Thank you for loving our daughters“.

To assume that Chinese women, or any others (!) are flippant and uncaring about their decision to relinquish their children evidences an insular uninformed bias. It is this bias that contributes to the anti-adoption attitude in our government and community today. A bias that National Adoption Awareness Week hopes to, in part, begin to, reverse.

Wanting a Daughter Needing a Son“, by Kay Ann Johnson provides a good start point, in regard to Chinese Adoption, for those wanting to know more.

 
 

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Adoption Myth 9 – Love is Enough in Parenting an Adopted Child

National Adoption Awareness Week aims to demystify the issues around adoption, raise awareness and acknowledge all parties in adoption. Part of that aim is to dispel the “Myths of Adoption.”

Adoptive parents in Australia identified the top ten myths they have to deal with when talking with family, friends and passers-by in the shopping centre that can’t resist asking “whose child is that?”.

MYTH #9 – Love is enough in parenting an adopted child.
FACTS – Love, empathy, understanding of losses these children have experienced and ongoing education is a better starting point for adoptive parenting.

The naivety of The Beatles, “All You is Love” is recognised in most contexts. In adoption there are ‘variables’ that require prospective parents and families to be forewarned and educated about. Adoption is as much about loss as it is about gaining a family. Dysfunctionality will play a role in the emotional stability and security of a biological child, it also contributes to an adopted child’s sense of self and their place in the world. Issues of origin, relinquishment and formation of an independent identity are engaged by adoptees and adopters with greater frequency and intensity than biological families. Unconditional love is absolutely essential – but it must be strategically informed. Adoption is not for the light-hearted.

 

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Adoption Myth 8 – You Have to be Rich to Adopt

National Adoption Awareness Week aims to demystify the issues around adoption, raise awareness and acknowledge all parties in adoption. Part of that aim is to dispel the “Myths of Adoption.”

Adoptive parents in Australia identified the top ten myths they have to deal with when talking with family, friends and passers-by in the shopping centre that can’t resist asking “whose child is that?”.

MYTH #8 – You have to be rich to adopt.
FACTS – Your resources as a parent is far more important that your finances but you must be able to provide for a child and family. Not all adoptions are expensive.

Somewhat akin to Myth 5. The primary “qualification” for adoption is a willingness to love and learn – about being a parent, about your child’s background, history & culture. There’s been a lot of negative publicity about the “cost” of the adoption process in Australia. No-one seems concerned about the prohibitive costs of biological children yet adoptive parents don’t get the same recognition and support as biological parents. e.g. most adopting families do not receive the national baby bonus – so again this is an area of potential discrimination demonstrating the anti-adoption culture we need to change in Australia.

 
 

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