Category Archives: Family
Jessica Rey’s recent qideas talk on “The evolution of the swimsuit” is popping up all over the net at the moment. Some promoting her arguments about modesty, others lambasting her for being a prudish irrelevant hypocrite.
When it comes to ideas of morality and standards, many decisions are very personal and by nature individual. What one person in one place at one time considers modest or immoral may differ significantly from another. It could even be the opposite!
What are the motivations behind a choice to modest in any context? There are going to be instances where that so-called modesty is used as a tool to repress freedom, creativity and expression and as an excuse for oppression and kinds of abuse. In those instances the passionate calls for modesty are often driven by weak minded men struggling to keep power over women. Yet in those very same contexts there are still problems with rape and sexual abuse. The cause of those evils is not lack of modesty any more than it is where such inhibitions do not exist.
A concern for modesty cannot be engineered in such a way to excuse perpetrators from crimes or disrespectful behaviour. Modesty, as Rey notes in her conclusion, isn’t about hiding or covering up because someone else has a problem. Modesty is about revealing your dignity.
Rey also cites some research to support her arguments that has also been criticised. Was her motivation solely to sell her own products? We all know that stats and data sets are vulnerable to manipulation so that has to be a concern when research is cited as a defence for any argument. However, read what Rey says in response to that criticism:
Wow! When I was first asked to give this talk, I asked, “how can I possibly say everything I want to say in 9 minutes?” I was told that the point is to get people thinking, to get people asking questions. It seems I have done just that! Thank you for taking the time to watch and to continue to ponder the issue.
For those of you saying that all of the men in the study were hostile sexists, I invite you to read the research again. Some of them were, some of them were not. I also encourage you to read some of the comments on various blogs/articles about the research. Men are laughing that money was spent to research something that is obvious:
“It took a STUDY by people with PhDs to determine this? Good grief.”
“Water is wet. Fire is hot.”
When I give talks to teens and young adults, I do not use this research, though it would be helpful. I simply ask them to sit at a coffee shop for a couple of hours and take note of how various men react to women who have their bodies on display and those who are more modestly dressed. I invite you to do the same.
For those of you who think I used this opportunity to plug my own business, it was actually suggested I speak about my business for 3 of the 9 minutes. Instead, I mentioned my business and tied in the tagline, “Who says it has to be itsy bitsy?” which is relevant to the talk. I spent the rest of the time on the topic at hand.
One other quick caveat. Modesty isn’t a concern exclusive to women. Men also need to consider how they reveal their dignity in their conduct and dress. More on that another time perhaps.
For now, I would recommend you watch it and if you have children, perhaps from school years 4 or 5 upwards, watch it with your kids and talk to them about it.
For my part, as the father of a daughter, I think Jessica, in this presentation, is a great role model with admirable motivation and rationale behind her arguments.
Were I the father of a son, I would want him to think this through and decide to hold all women in highest esteem as his intellectual, moral and spiritual equal.
There’s much more that could be said, I’m sure. Please take a few minutes to watch it.
Let me know what you think when you’re ready.
20 years ago today my lovely fiancé became my wife! I’m blown away that I am privileged to be her husband for a full score of years. Doubtless our continuing deepening love for each other is a wonderful gift of God’s grace. We both have changed in so many ways in the last 20 years. But we’ve changed together. Kids of the eighties whose two hearts are living in just one mind!
I’m told that 20 years is the China anniversary and that the flower is an Aster. Aster as the name suggests, means star and describes the shape of flowers by that name. There is also a Chinese Aster or China Star. That cool coincidence leads me, in a geeky way, to note a few other coincidences about the correlation of China, Stars, and 20 years of marriage. Stay with me while I try to string them together.
Our daughter’s Chinese name is 春星(Chunxing) which, literally, translates as spring star. Since she was born in China, she is our China Star! My wife studied art and art history and her favourite painter is Van Gough, who, among other things, painted The Starry Night. They featured in a favourite TV show of ours that involves a traveller through the “stars” and inspired Vincent, a song by Don McLean that we got to hear live at the Sydney Opera House shortly before we became parents of our China Star. McLean wrote the lyrics for Vincent in 1971, the year both of us were born! There you have it, China, Stars, 20 years, you and me and I didn’t even get to another favourite “Star” show, but I won’t trek off on that tangent now. Such an amazing collusion in time and space surely prompts me to posit that …
If in the infinitude of the heavens God by grace did call
me to thee betrothed and wed and not another instead
then as I gaze upon what lies in future stall
I bid the stars to come and shine upon us well
as we journey thence where eye or ear cannot tell
that we boldly go where none have gone before
in our married love, let future excel yore
that 20 years be but the start of this grace
Happy Anniversary my love. You’re a grace to me and a pretty good sort for hanging in there 20 years!
On Monday 12 November 2012 the Prime Minister announced that she will be recommending to the Governor-General the establishment of a Royal Commission into institutional responses to instances and allegations of child sexual abuse in Australia.
The Terms of Reference and the membership of the Commission are currently being developed. These arrangements will be discussed with Premiers and Chief Ministers, as well as survivors groups, religious leaders and community organisations in coming weeks. The Attorney General, the Hon Nicola Roxon MP, and the Minister for Families, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs, the Hon Jenny Macklin MP, will co-ordinate this work on behalf of the Commonwealth Government.
The Australian Government is putting in place a broad consultation process to ensure the perspectives of key stakeholders inform the decisions that need to be taken in establishing the Royal Commission.
As part of this consultation process, the Australian Government has released a consultation paper to seek the input of interested individuals and organisations on issues such as the scope of the Terms of Reference, the form of the Royal Commission, the number and type of Royal Commissioner/s and the reporting timetable for the Royal Commission.
These factors will guide the Commissioner/s in their task of examining responses to instances or allegations of child sexual abuse in the context of public and private institutions or organisations in Australia. ~ via Royal Commission website. Read more...
This is not a subject that I think warrants a soft, gentle introduction by way of friendly anecdote or witty illustration so I’ll blunder right in. Whatever the Terms of Reference this Commission settles upon, all Churches, religious organisations etc should do their utmost to be proactive and supportive. That the situation in Australia has come to the point where a Royal Commission is necessary means, in part, that that the Church is already behind.
This is something that evangelicals, in particular (as they my “tribe”), need to ensure they are not obstructive and defensive about. From my experience in Sydney Churches I’m confident that the majority will not wait for an official investigation to make enquiries. In fact we probably already have stringent processes in place. However, the Commission should be an urgent prompt to update processes and educate and orient everyone in the Church, not just paid staff.
The recent discussions in NSW State Parliament about confessional confidentiality as sacrosanct in Roman Catholicism ought not be dismissed lightly either. I consider pastoral confidence one of the highest responsibilities I hold as a gospel minister. However, I am in full agreement with our politicians and other Church leaders, that a report of child abuse must be responded to exactly the same as it ought to be in any other context. The Church should not be a hiding place for abusers.
Mine is a barely audible voice in the Sydney Evangelical scene. I am sure there are others who will weigh into this more persuasively and eloquently (late edit: CPX & InFocus have already done so). I hope that as they do, we can form a genuine and serious consensus that provides more than just protection of our children. We need to more than respond and react. We need to actively contribute to their thriving and flourishing. Anything else falls short of Jesus own standard and example.
Potentially Related articles
- The Royal Commission: This is a good thing (InFocus)
- Whatever it takes: sexual abuse and the Church (publicchristianity.org)
- Government calls for feedback on abuse inquiry (abc.net.au)
- Australians ‘back royal commission’ (bigpondnews.com)
- Govt wants help to shape royal commission (news.theage.com.au)
- PM calls abuse inquiry (theage.com.au)