Conjures up a weird mental image doesn’t it? But this isn’t a reference to a recent song by a wayward pop princess. I’m referring to the old-fashioned way buildings were demolished by swinging an enormous chunk of metal into them to smash them into smithereens. David Murrow wrote a post, “How to wreak your pastor“. It has some great advice, and, sadly, is right on target in the scenarios and examples he uses.
However, the attitude Murrow discusses doesn’t only affect pastors or paid vocational workers in a Church. It also affects the myriad of volunteers who are the real workers in every Church. People who, on top of being parents and holding down a job are investing greatly to run or help out with kids programs, music, hospitality, visitation and administration. On top of all the “free advice” pastors get, there is also the “feedback” and “observations” they receive about how some volunteer isn’t performing to the standard of the complainant.
This narky attitude can demoralise the volunteer who comes under scrutiny and repeatedly is a cause of people dropping out and falling away from Church. That’s not to say that we should be pandering everyone who stacks a chair or picks up a broom, but we also need to check our motivation behind our “feedback.” If it’s not a serious moral or legal failure and isn’t resulting in an undermining of the values and vision of the Church, then let it go! If, for whatever reason you still can’t stand a situation, please DON’T, as Murrow suggests, “ask the Lord if he may be leading you to attend a different church” – instead, get involved and help out yourself?! Leaving because you can’t get your own way, is infantile and gutless.
Alternatively, you could, as Murrow says for the pastor, offer to catch up with the person in question, take them out to lunch and spend some time getting to know them, praying with them and encouraging them. Don’t be a passive aggressive whiner. Realise that your opinion comes from someone who isn’t perfect, doesn’t always know all the facts or all the challenges involved in the ministry you’re so concerned about. There is every likelihood that you are dead wrong.
I was once in a ministry where I was regularly offered the type of advice Murrow mentions. It is exhausting to constantly get kicked in the guts that way. On the other hand, I’m currently in a ministry, where on 2 separate occasions in the last two weeks I’ve been invited out for catch ups by people in our Church that were exactly that: catchups! One was over a coffee, the other lunch, just yesterday. In both cases the people were simply trying to encourage me, see how I was doing and spend time getting to know me. It was such an encouragement!
After all Christians are meant to build each up not wreak and demolish.