afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted

A Repost from 2011

“Criticism is normal” says Michael Hyatt in his post titled ‘Friends, Critics and Trolls‘.

Every leader will attract criticism. As C. J. Mahaney notes in his latest post about ‘The Pastor and Criticism‘, this reality is probably what lies behind Paul’s instruction to Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:19:

Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.

Much criticism is unsubstantiated, unfounded, jealous and petty. It can still damage the soul of the one criticised. Hyatt, in his article, goes on to talk about the way criticism affects him:

emotionally, it kills me. It always knocks me off-kilter. You might think I would be past that. But I am not. I obsess about it, spending way more time thinking about it than I should. I wish this wasn’t true, but it is. (Just ask my wife!)

I think Michael has read my mind – or spoken to my wife! Either way, he is smack on target with my vulnerabilities. He provides a bit of a matrix or model to filter the criticism that is helpful.

One of the things that has helped me in the past few years is to distinguish between three kinds of critics:

1. True friends. Not all criticism is bad. God forbid that we should turn a deaf ear to everyone who disagrees with us. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). Some people are in our lives to save us from ourselves. As a leader, the trick is to create an environment that is safe for dissension, so these people can speak up.
2. Honest critics. Some people decide that they disagree with you and go public. They aren’t malicious. They aren’t out to destroy you. They simply disagree with you. That’s okay. We need to allow for a diversity of opinion. Besides, we might learn something from it. It enriches the conversation. We need to engage these people and refrain from making it personal. Not everyone has to agree with us.
3. Unhealthy trolls. These people have an agenda. They are out to hurt you—or at least use you for their own ends. They want to lure you into a fight. I have had three this week. They taunt and mock you. They are unreasonable. If you engage them, they will only distract you and deplete your resources. The best thing you can do is ignore them. As someone once said, “resistance only makes them stronger.” You will never satisfy them. Just keep doing what you know you are called to do.

As a leader, you must learn to distinguish between these three. I personally assume that everyone is a friend or an honest critic until they prove other otherwise. I may be naive, but I would rather give people the benefit of the doubt than live a life of paranoia. What about you?

So, just keep on keeping on, following God’s will and vision for your ministry and let the Word direct you, not the whims of a whiner
As my own Senior Pastor said recently, “Push through and push ahead, God will do the rest.”

Mahaney adds an important qualifier, quoting Tim Keller. If you dismiss a criticism, beware you don’t also become the critic.

Keller writes,

If the criticism comes from someone who doesn’t know you at all (and often this is the case on the internet) it is possible that the criticism is completely unwarranted and profoundly mistaken. I am often pilloried not only for views I do have, but also even more often for views (and motives) that I do not hold at all. When that happens it is even easier to fall into a smugness and perhaps be tempted to laugh at how mistaken your critics are. “Pathetic…” you may be tempted to say.

Don’t do it.

Even if there is not the slightest kernel of truth in what the critic says, you should not mock them in your thoughts. First, remind yourself of examples of your own mistakes, foolishness, and cluelessness in the past, times in which you really got something wrong. Second, pray for the critic, that he or she grows in grace.

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Of course I’m right, I prayed about it

Continued from yesterday.

This habit of attributing “prayer” to something we might think about or something that is nothing more than an empty response to someones situation becomes a form of self deception. If anything at all, what probably happens is the Christian is presented news about a situation or problem – they respond with the prayer, “Dear God, I don’t know what to do about that” and then they proceed to do or say whatever occurs to them. Then, when asked about their response, why they did/said that/etc, “Well, I prayed about it”.

How often have you heard someone say, “I prayed about it” as an explanation for their actions or attitude?

We make a multitude of decisions everyday. Some good, some bad. Some inconsequential, some are very significant and will affect us and others for a lifetime. This post is not about your decision making process, rather, your defence of your decision.

Very often you will decide something based on a combination of factors and numerous influences will come into play. However, if you’re a Christian, there’s a certain language that gets used when telling others about your decisions that gives a better impression then simply saying, “This is what I decided”.

The reason I said above, you are deceiving yourself is that you assume that your act of prayer is some sort of equivalent to waving a magic wand and making everything you do perfectly ok. It’s a little bit like those old computer arcade games where your character eats a invincibility pill and can’t be killed or damaged for a few seconds until the effects of the pill wear off. The Christian assumes, because I have prayed, I can’t possibly be wrong about this.

Be very careful. If you haven’t prayed, you are lying to say you did. If you did pray (long, short or otherwise) you could be co-opting God into your bad decision. You are still a sinner and you are not immune to mistakes, errors in judgment and outright wrong thinking. Don’t get me wrong, you should still pray! But it should be a habit of life, not a one off attempt to blame God for your life.

It is better for you to say instead, “I prayed about this and here is what I decided to do”. Then be prepared that one way God might answer your prayer is for scripture to show you or someone else to tell you that you are dead wrong about your decision. When that happens, stop what you are doing, right there and then, bow your head and pray on the spot and ask God to have mercy on you, grant you repentance and give you the courage to do what is right.

 

I prayed about it – Did you?

Prayer is, in the Christian and Biblical sense, talking to God and asking him something. The English word “pray” comes from a root that means to make a petition or entreat someone, not just God. The words translated in the Bible as “pray” have similar root meanings. “Pray”, though popular usage has come to include all manner of talking to, praising, confessing, adoring God in speech. But the basic idea is that by praying to God, you are asking him for something.

You might be asking for healing, safety, forgiveness or protection or any number of different things, but most often when a Christian prays they are usually seeking something for themselves. Interestingly when Jesus taught his disciples to pray he said the first thing they should ask for, is that God’s reputation, splendour and renown would be made known. After that, Jesus taught about asking for things for yourself and others.

Prayer, unfortunately is something far too many Christians talk about more than they carry out. When hearing of someone who is troubled, hurt or upset, the response is, “I’m praying for you”. When faced with a challenge or difficulty, “I’ll pray about it”. It comes up in conversation a lot. Two Christians will be talking about a problem or another thing and one will say, “I’ve been praying for you” or “I’ve been praying about that”.

Here’s the problem with all that. Most often, when someone says they prayed or will pray, what they sometimes mean is they will “think about it”. Very often, it doesn’t even mean that, it’s just a polite way to express concern or compassion. No prayer takes place and there is no intention to talk to God and ask his help with anything.

So, the next time you hear someone say, “I will pray about it” or “I prayed about it”, ask them, “What did you pray?” “When did you pray?” “With whom, to whom, for how long?”. And if they baulk, and are honest and admit they didn’t pray after all. Stop what you’re doing, bow your head on the spot and pray with them, right there, right then. You might find, once you really, actually do pray, that you’ll like it and develop a true habit of prayer. Especially when you notice that God answers prayers, not your intentions.

 

This is now

Part two of a 2 part post. Part one is here.

On Friday, I mentioned that when I first heard the news in 2009 that I would be the lead pastor of the English Congregation at Grace Chinese Christian Church, I was overwhelmed (in a good way!) by the opportunity and challenge ahead.

Last Monday, January 16th, I had a similar experience. This time though, the Board of Deacons decided not to extend or renew my appointment term as Pastor. I was similarly overwhelmed at the challenge ahead. What happens now?

I am a huge Star Trek fan. The concept of Per aspera ad astra (Latin: through striving we reach the stars) has always appealed to me. God’s calling and enablement through Christ comes with a vision (or goal, desire, dream, aspiration) of the greatness of his mission to take the gospel to the end of the earth (Acts 1:8).

Sometimes when we calculate the costs and sacrifices of the desires and dreams God gives us to aspire to in achieving his mission we are dissuaded from pursuing them. Often, if we proceed, we don’t anticipate all that God might bring across our path to strengthen, equip and encourage us to achieve that mission. Certainly for some this puts us off, whereas for others the difficulty we face in or moving towards Christ’s service is the very thing that propels us forward to maturity and realisation of that vision. Christ gives us the strength of heart to endure. In the face of what we view as obstacles, discouragement or even defeat, God’s Providence Prevails.

This is now!

 

That was then

The following is a re-post from June 2010 of part of my story leading up to starting as the Pastor of Grace Chinese Christian Church. I’ve cleaned up a few of the links etc. This is part 1 of a 2 part post.

As a small boy growing up in a Sicilian Roman Catholic community of Northern Queensland I was enamored with the teachings and practice of the Church. The aura of mystery surrounding the liturgy of the Mass was compelling. So much so that I frequently day dreamed about joining the priest hood. Whilst that attraction faded over time, my interest and fascination in religion, mystery and spirituality steadily increased. At 13, when I heard what I now know to be a true explanation of the gospel I gave my heart, in faith, to Christ. Whilst my understanding of the gospel and Christianity has grown over time to what is sometimes considered “Reformed”, the crisis of decision I experienced as a teenager was genuine. I knew my need of Christ and saw clearing that he offered salvation through faith in his name – so I appropriated that.

When 16, I attended a series of meetings led by Bob Jones Jr where he preached on the “Man of God” spoken of in 1 Kings 13. Bob gave a challenge for young men to respond to the call of full time preaching (either in Pastoral, Evangelistic or Missionary work) and I rallied to that call. 12 months later, having completed high school I traveled down to Sydney and commenced tertiary theological study. I was, at the age of 17, what most Evangelicals in Sydney call a Student Minister. By 18 I was preaching and teaching every week and was an Assistant Pastor of a small brand new Church in the Blue Mountains. Were I training in the Anglican or Presbyterian denominations at that time I would have been ordained for sacramental officiation and licensed for a host of other duties. However the Independent Churches I was involved with generally didn’t practice or encourage such ordination, except in occasional instances and then only for Senior Pastors. So it continues to not be uncommon for men in full time pastoral ministry to have no official denominationally recognised ordination. This mattered little to me at the time, as from 18 years as a 3rd year Theolog I was trained in administering communion and baptism and did so as often as the need arose and continued to do so for almost 20 years following both in Australia and overseas.

The independent Churches had little in the way of organised fund raising initiatives. Individuals or families that wished to enter full time ministry either had to commit to regular, secular employment on top of their ministerial role or in the case of those traveling outside Australia would have to align with a Mission Group or society that would assist with raising sponsorship to cover their living expenses. Sometimes families would spend years traveling around Australia soliciting sponsorship support before being able to afford to go to their chosen field. Now, some 20 years later, some of these independent Churches have grown to the point where they can, (usually partially) provide some stipend or support to their Pastor. Although most continue to work a second job on the side to supplement living, saving and retirement expenses. There are probably less than 10 of these Churches in all of Australia that could extend such support to any other staff beyond their senior minister, so as an Associate or Assistant Pastor I pretty much accepted that bi-vocational (working two jobs, being paid for one) ministry was the norm and wasn’t something to be sneered at.

I was serving in this capacity when I was 25 and had an opportunity to go to Kenya. Whilst married, we had no children and by God’s grace and abundance were debt free so we jumped at the chance. Technically we were supported full time – to the extent that our only income or support came from our home Church in Australia and wasn’t supplemented by other employment. However, even then, and in a third world economy, $500/month didn’t go very far. After 7 months we had to return. We were unable to secure long term working visas (mainly because we couldn’t afford the “additional” fees requested by the local authorities) and had exhausted our means of fiscal survival and were running up debts that could not go unpaid. I resumed bi-vocational ministry and saw God’s hand in providing lucrative employment that was able to sustain not only the equivalent of full time ministry, but also invest in a number of missionary and social concerns that a Pastor is usually not able to sustain.

It was a redundancy from one of my “extra” jobs that preempted a major change in direction both in pastoral and preaching ministry and how we would be supported financially. I wondered what might happen if we walked away from what had become a successful career in IT&T to solely invest all my time in pastoral ministry. As I prayed I came across a notice in The Briefing magazine of an independent Church on the south side of Sydney that was looking for a full time Pastor. Surely, God seemed to impress upon me, if you’re fair dinkum you’ll call them and see how you can help and encourage them. And so on the 29th of May 2008 I picked up the phone and called. The guy who answered seemed a little cautious about who I was, how I found out about their situation and whether or not I would fit into their Church given my cultural differences. An exchange of emails followed, along with several visits, meals, coffee shop meetings and long discussions in various homes. After a small hiccup involving a potential interim responsibility I might have to fulfill, I met, officially with the Board of Deacons and Ministers of Grace Chinese Christian Church. To describe that meeting as intense, understates it considerably. The room was small, there were close to 20 people present. I had my daughter with me because we had come straight from her music lessons to the meeting. The room was also quite hot and some of the questions being asked were very demanding. However, I must have said something right. Either that or my daughter’s cuteness factor won over some of the stern faces in the room. On Sunday June 21st, just before 1pm I got an SMS saying YES. I cried.

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service ~ 1 Timothy 1:12

That was then.

 

It’s time to open up a can-o-whup-???

It is tempting, in the face of sin, defiance and rebellion to respond with imprecations and denouncements. As a parent, sometimes it can feel as though all you are doing is ranting and reacting to a child’s misbehaviour or attitude. But when that happens too often, you will miss the joy of loving them. Imagine if God was as impatient with us as we sometimes are with our children? What horror would ensue.

A blog by Mike Bull and Tim Gallant on Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

caught my eye this morning and I’ve included some quotes below. Take time to read it all. If you’re a leader in the Church, consider how you model grace and love. If you’re not a leader and not a parent, consider and give thanks for the grace and love shown to you by God and your pastor.

If we ask the question: “How often is there something in my life that God could be correcting?” – the answer would have to be, “Always.” Even the strongest believers in this life are en route, are taking a journey in spiritual growth, and are immature in a host of areas.

The shepherds of the flock have a special calling to be aware of the needs of the sheep. And that awareness involves discerning where the flock needs correction and growth.

…

Occasionally Christians look at other Christians and wonder why the church leadership doesn’t do something. “So-and-so is at fault here and here and here; why aren’t the elders dealing with it?”

Aside from the fact that elders are almost always dealing with things far more than the congregation is aware – pastoral care is an iceberg that is more submerged than visible – there is more to it than that.

Wise shepherds know that not every battle can be fought at once; and they also know that not every battle needs to be fought the same way.

…

One of the greatest things that the Father does for His children is rejoice with them, and as shepherds who echo His heart and seek to embody the kingdom among the flock, we must take up that happy task with gusto.

When we do, we demonstrate again that Christ came to give life, and that most abundantly (John 10.10).